Reading Between the Lines

(written january 26th 2009)

ALONE
When
LOST
They
BROKEN
Find
ANGRY
Out
EMPTY
What
NEEDY
You’re
STRUGGLING
Really
HOPEFUL
Like
WISHFUL
They
DON’T CRY DON’T CRY
Will
RUSHES
Turn
SAD
Against
AFRAID
You.
WANTING TO REMEMBER
When
AFRAID TO REMEMBER
They
WANTING TO FALL INTO IT
See
WANTING TO FIGHT IT
Who
DESPERATION
You
WAITING
Really
WANTING IT TO BE OVER
Are
GET AWAY
They
RAGE
Won’t
DESPAIR
Like
NO CONTROL
You.
HAVING IT ALL AND IT ISN’T ENOUGH
Never
UNDESERVING
Let
IT’S WRITTEN ALL OVER ME AND EVERYONE CAN SEE
Them
PAIN
See
ANGUISH
Who
SHAKING
You
DON’T CRY DON’T CRY
Really
WHY DO I FIGHT IT
Are.
WASTED TIME
Keep
UNBEARABLE
It
NOT WORTH IT
All
SHAME AND GUILT
Locked
KNOWING WHAT I MISSED
Away
ANGER
Deep
ANGER
Down
ANGER
Inside
HOPELESS HOPEFUL HOPELESS HOPEFUL
Where
RUN AWAY
Nobody
RAPID CYCLING THOUGHTS
Will
RAPID CYCLING EMOTIONS
See.
CIRCLES WITHIN CIRCLES
If
RUSHES
You
TINGLING
Let
BUTTERFLIES INSIDE
Them
SOMETHING ALMOST REMEMBERED
See
FUCKING PISSED
What
BURNING BURNING BURNING
I’ve
EVERYTHING BURNING
Made
HOT COALS AND HOT IRONS
You
BURNING RAGE
Into
RED HOT ANGER
They
HANDS ON MY FACE
Will
STROKING HANDS
Know
HURTING HANDS
What
CAN’T BREATHE
I
FEAR
Know.
ANYTHING TO SURVIVE
If
RUN AWAY
You
GET AWAY
Let
MY BODY CAN’T MOVE BUT HE CAN’T MAKE ME STAY
Them
GONE GONE GONE
In
PAIN
They
FAR AWAY PAIN
Will
MORNING LIGHT
Hurt
ALL A DREAM ALL A DREAM ALL A DREAM
You
NEVER HAPPENED
Like
DON’TCRYDON’TCRYDON’TCRYDON’TCRYDON’TCRY
I
NEVER TELL IT
Do.
NEVER SEE IT
Never
NEVER KNOW IT
Let
NEVER FEEL IT
Them
NEVER EVER FEEL IT
See
RUN
Who
HIDE
You
SMILE
Really
LOOK AWAY
Are.
AND NEVER FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL


Email to my therapist:

Does it ever really go away?