Left/Right Writing (after failed anger work, this morning.)It's very frustrating. I am exhausted. I don't know what else to say to her... to myself... is it true that crying is... necessary?
What are you thinking and feeling?
Sad sad sad
I don’t want to hurt you.
I don’t want to hurt.
I am not ok.
I know. Me either.
I don’t want to take it and hold it and handle it all the time. I want it to all go away and let me live my life.
No! Not you. You need to stay. You need to feel it so we can be done with it all.
Are you sure that works?
No. They tell me it does. We’ve tried everything else, though. Why not this?
We tried crying before.
Yes, but we weren’t safe, then. Now we are.
I can keep us safe.
I will keep us safe.
I know I can
I promise I will.
I don’t know how to cry and I am NOT a crybaby.
No. You're not a crybaby. You're strong. Really strong. You can take so much… but you don’t have to. It’s time to let it go.
(long pause) I’m strong.
Yes! You are!
Then I don’t need to cry.
Does it get better then?
Because I can take a lot. Really. A LOT.
I just don't want to take it anymore.