************************************Denial covers the pain of the past * A blanket over the world * Lift a corner * Don't be afraid * Your life awaits you*************************************

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Meeting the Rainbow Lady

With a son graduating from high school last weekend and a daughter graduating from eighth grade this past Monday, it's been a very busy, emotional week. Somehow or another I made it through all of the inner turmoil I felt as I thought of my children moving up and moving on. We got through the dinners and award nights, the "I can't find my dress shoes" and "Why do I have to iron my shirt if I'm putting that robe over it anyway" and "Can I have fifteen friends over for a bonfire in two hours?"

Mostly, it was fun... but I'm glad to be in the lull before summer really kicks off. In just over a week, we are heading out of town for a family vacation. We are returning to a place which was our Summer destination at least a dozen times when the kids were little. All four of my children will join us for at least part of the two week trip - and my future son-in-law is also going to be with us for a few days.

But first... I'm going to see the Rainbow Lady.

I mentioned a few posts ago that a friend of mine had told me about an experience she had that sounded a lot like Soul Retrieval. Since this is something I've been looking into for some time, I was naturally intrigued. I referred to her as the rainbow lady because my friend mentioned something (of which I am not entirely clear) about finding a rainbow symbol that defined her in some way, during a session with this therapist. My friend also told me that she has seen a regular therapist for years, but has seen "the Rainbow Lady" a few times, as well.

Today, I'm going to meet the Rainbow Lady for an hour. After that, the plan is to return next week for a two-and-a-half-hour session, if all goes well today.

I'm not sure what is going to be included in today's session or the one next week... from what I understand, there is a massage table in her office, there are pillows that are for throwing, hitting and probably comfort as well. There are candles and a there is a teddy bear. I know this from what she and my friend told me, and because there are pictures of her office at her website.
I also know there will be hypnoses involved.

What am I hoping to gain from this?
I'm not really sure.
I'm not going in with any specific expectations.

The original reason I was looking into soul retrieval is because since I've been integrating these compartmentalized thoughts/alters/other sides of me, I have been able to communicate with and understand these very separate pieces. However, most often they do not feel like me. Instead, when I am aware of other sides of me, it is like multiple threads of thought running through my head at the same time. Sometimes this is quite confusing and can cause anxiety if these sides don't agree.

As a fictitious example, imagine you are standing in a grocery store trying to decide what to eat for dinner. In your head are eight different opinions. It is not a reasonable conversation as one might have with any decision. There is not just, not spaghetti, I had it last night, I know I should eat more fish, but I really feel like beef.
Instead, it’s more like this:

I can’t eat beef every night!
I should eat more fish.
i hate fish
I’m not hungry
Let's get out of here

All at the same time, followed in the next two seconds by

the candy looks good
I’m not eating anything except macaroni and cheese.
I’m not even hungry!
If you get that, I’m not eating it.
Get me out of here!

And so on. Meanwhile, I’m standing still, staring through the glass at the beef and fish on ice while the butcher is waiting for a response.

What I’ve read about Soul Retrieval makes me think it could help further integrate these pieces of me – help bring them all the way home.

Do I expect that the Rainbow Lady is going to be able to do that in two sessions?
I only hope to gain a little more insight into myself, and to try something new.

I’ll let you know how it works out.


  1. Let us know how things go with the rainbow lady. I have thought of hypnosis because I can't remember much of my past, not like my sistes can. It's weird. What if something really bad happened to me to delete my memories? I don't want to know.
    I have had those weird thoughts and conversations in my head but not as it pertains to decision making. It's more like when I am not otherwise occupied, something I see, hear or think turns into ten or more phrases in rapid succession. If you were with me, I could explain it better.

  2. i'm eager to hear how it goes with the rainbow lady. sounds interesting.

    and i thought of you this week regarding your kids growing up. i like a show on the scifi channel called "eureka" and in the season finale last season the main character's daughter got early admission to college and so left early for school. it was so sad and i cried.

    i'm glad that you're doing some good things through this time. seeing the rainbow lady, starting the stepper's carnival, and the family vacation, yet still writing and processing your feelings about the changes you're going through. sounds like you're balancing well~ :)


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Co Creation

Co Creation
We create the life we live

Love your inner child...

...for she holds the key...

...to your personal power.
A lesson is woven into each day.
Together they make up the tapestries of our lives.