************************************Denial covers the pain of the past * A blanket over the world * Lift a corner * Don't be afraid * Your life awaits you*************************************

Friday, July 24, 2009

What Integration Means to Me

Once again, I'm deleting the text that I will be using in my memoir. I've left the image and the comments
~Shen 2-21-12


  1. There is so much in this post. As I read so many thoughts tumble though my mind. It is good you have someone to help you though this. You, in turn, by publishing these posts might be helping someone else. I wish you the very best. I hope this blog is serving the purpose it was meant to.

  2. Thank you for reading, Tricia, and understanding. I also hope this is helpful to someone.

  3. i think it's wonderful you have been able to experience such healing and acceptance of your selves. and i'm so glad you have such a great therapist. i hope all is well~

  4. Thanks, Shen. I am glad you are able to appreciate that what you call integration is intensely personal to you. I call what you experienced and experience cooperation and collaboration. Either way, how you are going about it is in the right direction.

  5. MMM - I am so fortunate to have the therapist I have. I have heard things from others that indicate to me just how lucky I am to have found her.

    Paul - I came across differences in definitions to the concept of "integration" not just at your website, but from several others I know online. I see why this is such a controversial idea.

    One thing I have been trying to get across to people who are afraid of the concept of integration is that I really do not believe anything can be lost. Every part of me is me, and will always be me, whether I am aware of them, acknowledge them, accept them, integrate them, or deny their existance. It is still me. I will be here no matter what.

  6. New to your blog. Good Effort!

    7 years ago I had my first memory of abuse. I was alone driving around before therapy. I called my therapist and told her to call me if she was going to be wearing black and white as I did not want to come to therapy if she was.

    I went to therapy and drew with crayons that I had brought. Looking back the memories were very chaotic and spanned 12 years.

    I was yelling with my eyes closed and then stopped. I looked around to know where I was. Then I started crying. My therapist said "Michael can you look at me." I said "Yes I can but I don't want to." She said. "It will help." So I looked at her saw her eyes, the pain in her eyes and that was the moment that my integration stated. At that time I did not know that anyone else was not multiple.

    I have lost nothing I wanted and much has has been gained.

    Now for the funny part. I walked out the door and trumpets were playing. I remember thinking this is what it really means to be crazy and it does not seem that bad.

    It was around Christmas time and I happened to walk out as a recording of trumpets was playing.

    Then it got real not funny real fast. Nothing for it.


  7. Welcome Michael! Thanks for reading and commenting. It's always good to meet others who are working through the same stuff I am.
    That's funny about the trumpets. I have had things like that happen, where it seemed like something was happening just for me...
    do you have a blog?

  8. Thank you for the welcome.

    I do not have a blog. I am lazy.



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Co Creation

Co Creation
We create the life we live

Love your inner child...

...for she holds the key...

...to your personal power.
A lesson is woven into each day.
Together they make up the tapestries of our lives.